


What a Lovely Day to Die

by mira (stellamira)



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-11 14:49:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellamira/pseuds/mira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen tries to kill himself – multiple times – but Jared simply refuses to reap him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What a Lovely Day to Die

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [spn_j2_xmas](http://spn-j2-xmas.livejournal.com/).
> 
> Warnings: Description of various suicide attempts.

Jared was a little insulted when the first thing Jensen said upon seeing him was, "Oh, c'mon, seriously?!"

Although it was probably more the lack of a scythe on Jared's part that made Jensen say it.

Jared wriggled his fingers in salute. "Hi there, it's your friendly neighborhood reaper, coming –"

"– to guide me to the afterlife," Jensen finished for him. "I know. You already told me, like, twenty times. Are you actually gonna do it this time?"

"Your time's not up yet." It was bending the truth but so far Jensen had never asked. "So, no, I guess."

Jensen sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. He looked down at his body, lying on the pavement twisted into all kinds of wrong angles, blood seeping out from under his head. In the distance, the siren of an ambulance could already be heard. "How long until they revive me?"

"Dunno. Could be a while. You wanna take a short walk with me? You'll just zap back into your body once they're finished, and I gotta stick around anyway."

Jensen glanced down at himself again, almost with disdain, then stuck his hands in his pockets and stepped away. "All right, let's go."

"Awesome." Jared's long robes swished over the ground as he turned and hurried to catch up to Jensen's side.

Jensen leaned in as if to elbow him, stopping just short of an actual touch. "What's with the Merlin getup? Last time you wore a _Stairway to Heaven_ shirt, that was kinda cool."

Jared frowned. "Yeah, the clients really liked it, but corporate not so much. They're all about identifying ourselves with our work these days."

There was a small park two blocks away from the building where Jensen had tried to end his life. Nobody had noticed the commotion yet and the ambulance rushing past barely registered on the faces of the few mid-morning joggers and the businessmen having an early lunch. They were used to it.

Jared chose a bank near the playground. Smiling, happy kids usually had a soothing effect on most souls.

"Haven't seen you for a while," Jared said eventually. "I thought you were doing better."

Jensen kicked at a small rock, his foot passing right through it. "I was. Until I got worse again."

"But you switched therapists like I told you to, right?"

"Yeah, I got Danni now. She's this small redhead but man, feisty when she wants to be. Sees right through me, too." Jensen looked at his own translucent hand – as if he had intended the pun. "But she can't miraculously cure me, Jay."

Jared nodded and they both watched the kids make sand castles and scream happily on the swings for a while. A little girl no more than three years old came running up to their bank and scrambled up onto it. Jared automatically moved over for her. Accidentally sitting in a reaper was like jumping into icy water and he didn't want to spook her. It put him closer to Jensen who was still giving off a faint warmth next to him. Not the heat that victims of murder or an accident usually radiated but not the coolness of people who had peacefully passed away, either.

Jensen still had a will to live in him somewhere, even if he didn't know it.

"So, feisty little redhead," Jared said while the little girl munched on a banana. "She hot, too?"

The corner of Jensen's mouth twitched and he looked over. "I guess. Though she told me she only takes clients who stare at her breasts for less than ten seconds before moving up to her face. I must have passed the test."

"I sure hope so. Considering that you're gay."

"I can still appreciate an attractive female body." Jensen paused. "I think they almost got me back. I can hear them."

Jared could hear voices, too, a faint echo of what was happening around Jensen's body two blocks away.

"Stick to Danni, okay?" Jared said. "She seems all right."

"I will," Jensen promised. "See you, Jared."

He was gone before Jared could decide whether he wanted to say the same.

***

Jared couldn't really remember his own death. He did remember his reaper and how terrified of him Jared had been. Later he learned that Eric was an okay guy who simply took his work far too seriously. So when Jared had been offered the job, he'd known from a start that he'd wanted to be different. None of that grim old reaper thing with the serious face, the long dark brown robes and the odor of rotting earth. Who said that the first day of the afterlife had to begin with a bad experience.

Jared assured little old ladies that their cats would be well cared for, convinced men that a quick heart attack was better than to die slowly in a hospital bed, and he comforted the women who had to leave their loved ones behind.

He always did it with a smile or a joke, and he was extremely popular with kids. He was voted _Reaper of the Year_ for four years in a row, much to the chagrin of his co-workers who felt his methods were too unorthodox.

Then he was assigned to Jensen.

***

_Nineteen years ago_

Jared didn't even see the boy's soul at first. He saw the body lying on the bed, peaceful as if he'd just fallen asleep. Coming closer, a mop of dyed, jet-black hair the same as the body's appeared at the side of the bed, then Jensen sitting with his head resting against the mattress, knees pulled up, fiddling with the shoelaces of his worn-out red Chucks.

"Hi there," Jared said, carefully. Teenagers' reactions were hard to predict. "I'm Jared, your friendly neigh–"

"Finally," Jensen interrupted him. "I've been waiting here for ages." He looked Jared up and down. "You're the guy who'll guide me to the light, right? Aren't you a bit young for the job?"

Jared raised his eyebrows. "Excuse me, I was thirty when I died. And even if my appearance hasn't changed, I _have_ been doing this for a while."

"Whatever." Jensen stood up and spread out his hands. Jared noticed how he avoided looking at himself on the bed, gaze jerking away whenever it got too close. "Can we go now?"

"You don't want to say goodbye to your body?" Most people looked back fondly on themselves, even if they were bent and bloody.

Jensen shrugged. "Why? Did my best to get rid of it, didn't I."

"What?"

"Didn't you get a briefing or something? I offed myself. Decided to check out early. Whatever other euphemism you prefer."

"Why?" Jared had reaped people who'd committed suicide before, but never anyone so young.

Jensen shrugged again. "Does it matter? Because life sucks. Can we leave? Someone drops dead every minute in this town alone, so I guess you have a lot to do."

"I also have co-workers. And I didn't get a 96 % client satisfaction rate in the last survey because of my wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am attitude. I like to take my time." Jared took a few steps closer, and Jensen involuntarily stumbled back, right through his bedside table. His eyes were too wide and he was trembling, betraying his cocky demeanor. He was afraid, and too young, and still giving off heat like the sun in the midday sky.

And Jared couldn't do it.

Fully aware that he was breaking at least six rules, he laid his scythe on the floor then sat on the bed with his back to Jensen's body, patting the space beside him invitingly.

Jensen looked like he wanted to bolt.

"C'mere, Jensen." Jared smiled at him. "You're not dying today, I promise."

Five minutes later Jensen finally sat down.

Forty minutes later Jensen was back in his body and Jared got his first official reprimand from his supervisor.

***

Seventeen years ago Jensen took sleeping pills again.

Sixteen years ago Jensen slit his wrists.

Fourteen years ago Jensen cooked up a deadly cocktail of drugs in the back alley behind a club and shot it straight into his bloodstream.

Thirteen years ago Jared stopped bringing his scythe. He didn't intend to use it anyway.

Twelve years ago Jensen jumped off a bridge.

Eleven years ago Jensen got creative and went swimming with a metal belt, hung a noose from the fan in his living room, and tried to electrocute himself by dropping a hair dryer into his bathtub – all in the space of nine months. It was a hard year.

Ten years ago Jared got called into his supervisor's office where Jeff ripped him a new one about the fulfillment of contracts, playing favorites, and Jared's responsibility towards the living and the dead.

Eight years ago Jensen joined a religious cult and came out the only survivor.

Seven years ago an article got published about _The Man with the 12 Lives_. This time _Jensen_ ripped Jared a new one about unwanted fame and unnatural healing abilities before stalking off to wait for someone to pull him out of the cold river.

Six years ago Jensen sat in his 67 Impala in the closed garage and left the motor running.

Five years ago Jensen bought a gun and shot himself.

Four years ago Jared finally admitted to himself that this might be more than just not wanting a friend to die.

Three years ago Jensen stepped in front of a train.

Two years ago Jensen wrapped his car around a tree.

Jared refused to reap him every time.

***

"So, things with Danni didn't work out, huh?"

Jensen sighed as they both studied the body slumped in a chair, a plastic bag over his head. After the first few times Jensen had developed a morbid fascination with watching himself. "No, it's going great, actually."

Jared circled the chair, robes collecting dust off the floor. Jensen really needed to vacuum more. "Isn't this kind of cruel, with the bag?"

Jensen shook his head. "Nitrogen. I passed out before I could feel a thing." He chewed his lip. "Jared, Danni knows where I am and what I'm doing. She called me crazy and every name under the sun, but she agreed to give me ten minutes."

"Ten minutes for what?" Jared asked stupidly.

"To say goodbye."

If he'd been alive, Jared would have stopped breathing. Jensen looked away.

"I really am doing better," Jensen said. "We found the right combination of meds and Danni and I are working on some stuff." He laughed humorlessly. "It was kinda her idea, come to think about it. To tie up any loose ends and start anew." He looked back at Jared, eyes wet. "Jared, if there was a way that we could – I wish –"

The door to Jensen's apartment flew open with a bang against the wall and a young woman stormed in, followed by two paramedics. Danni was every bit as attractive as Jensen had described her, even in what was evidently her pajamas. She hung back, biting her nails as the paramedics started working.

"Jared," Jensen said in a rushed tone, knowing they didn't have much time left. "When I – _If_ I – The next time, please don't come, okay. Send someone else."

Jared made the decision in a heartbeat. Coming closer, he reached out a hand. "Jen, do you trust me?"

"What?" Jensen stretched out his own fingers, hesitating. His contours began to become softer.

"I promise you'll have a nice, apple-pie life and become old and wrinkly, but I need you to trust me for just a moment."

Jensen's whispered, "Yes," was enough for Jared to grab his hand and pull him in.

One of the paramedics cursed behind them as they lost his pulse again, but Jared only spared them a second's thought before he touched his mouth to Jensen's.

Jensen's lips were warm and soft, opening on a sigh under Jared's so he could slip his tongue inside. They kissed for a minute without regard of what went on around them, Jared keeping them finely balanced between life and death.

Finally, Jensen pulled away and opened his eyes. "I thought we couldn't – How –"

"I'm sorry, Jensen," Jared said, then put his other hand on Jensen's chest and shoved, hard.

***

"I know some people are relieved that you finally started sticking to the protocol after all these years," Chad began unceremoniously, as he opened the locker next to Jared's. "But man, your clients aren't happy about it and neither are you."

"Mr. Henderson didn't mind," Jared said.

"Mr. Henderson had dementia; he hardly got a word of what you were saying." Chad took out one of his robes and slammed the locker shut while Jared still stared into his. "Look, I know you're all hung up about the love of your afterlife, and you're probably pissed that Eric was assigned to his case –"

Jared whirled around, grabbing Chad's arm. "What? No, he said he's okay now."

"Dude," Chad said slowly, prying Jared's hand away to pick up his scythe. "Read your emails. Jensen will have a car accident in two hours while he's driving to his therapist appointment. I'm sorry, man."

***

"I'm sorry, Jared." Jeff leaned back in his big office chair, steepling his fingers. "You got away with it while it was Jensen's decision and because despite everything you're a freaking good employee. But accidents are out of our hands, you know that."

"Then fire me so I can meet him here." Jared had his hands braced on the back of the chair, too worked up to sit down.

Jeff shook his head. "I can't, even if I wanted to. And there've been enough of your colleagues asking me to. They seem to think you throw a bad light on their work."

Jared raked a hand through his hair then turned to leave without a word.

"Jared, wait," Jeff called him back when he was almost at the door. He scratched his beard. "There is one way. It involves one hell of a lot of paperwork but I'll do it if you promise me something."

"Anything," Jared blurted out.

Jeff gave a long-suffering sigh. "No offense, but the next time they offer you this job, just say no."

***

"Jared?!" Jensen looked like he was facing a ghost – which was actually not so far off. "What are you – I didn't – You're wearing _Zeppelin_ again."

Trust Jensen to focus on the shirt when Jared turned up on his doorstep out of the blue.

"Yeah, it was kinda the only normal clothes I had."

"You're different. You're –" Jensen reached for his cheek, so close Jared could feel the warmth of the almost-touch. _Body_ heat, Jared thought. "You're alive."

"Yeah." Jared turned his head to press a kiss against Jensen's palm. "I'll tell you the whole story inside, if you want."

Jensen hesitated. "I have an appointment –"

Jared grabbed him and pulled him in for a hug until he felt Jensen’s hand come up and rub his back. "No. You're canceling it."

***

Later when they were naked under Jensen's sheets and Jared ached in places that hadn't been used in a long, long time Jensen couldn't stop touching him. He slipped his fingers out of Jared, trailing them wetly over Jared's cock.

"You know, you saved my life so many times, and then we kinda saved each other even though you were already dead. Danni's gonna have a field day."

"You're not gonna tell her everything, I hope." Jared felt sleepy and sated but his body perked up with interest as Jensen continued his explorations. He’d turned out a bit of a possessive type, and Jared loved it.

"That the grim reaper begs for my dick in bed?" Jensen wrapped his hand around him. "Nah, I think we can leave out that detail." He stopped abruptly. "Your co-workers aren't gonna come after us, are they?"

"Not before our time is up." Jared rolled them so that Jensen was straddling him, looking down. His face was flushed, his hair damp, and a line of hickeys along his collarbone begged to be traced with a thumb. "Until then, we make the most of it."

 

The End.


End file.
